Do older people in particular feel lonely?

Every hour, one hundred people worldwide die of loneliness. The image we have of loneliness is often coloured grey: an older widow, confined between the walls of the residential care home. But according to sociologist Haike Delafontaine (Faculty of Social Sciences), it’s not only older people who struggle. ‘Every age group experiences loneliness in its own way.’

 

‘Feeling lonely obviously isn’t nice,’ says Delafontaine, a researcher affiliated with the Centre for Population, Family and Health. ‘But that emotion does serve a purpose. Humans are social beings. When we isolate ourselves too strongly, our brain sends a signal to look for social contact. From an evolutionary point of view, this impulse is necessary for survival as a species. After all, protecting ourselves from harsh weather conditions or external enemies works better in groups.’

 

We no longer live in prehistoric times – gone are the days when we had to fear sabre-toothed tigers or mammoths – but that doesn’t mean that loneliness has also gone extinct. Delafontaine: ‘Loneliness crops up when we experience a lack of meaningful social contact. We compare our social life with that of others, or with how it used to be. If that comparison is disappointing, we feel lonely.’

Stereotype of loneliness

When we think of loneliness, we often think of older people. But according to Delafontaine, there’s something not quite right about that cliché image. ‘It goes without saying that no two older people are alike. In research, 65 – roughly the retirement age – is often taken as the point of departure. But many people still have a large part of their lives ahead of them at that age. The Federal Planning Bureau calculated that, on average, Flemish people will still have a quarter of their lives to go once they retire in 2040. That’s a relatively long period. By comparison, adolescence (10 to 19 years) only lasts nine years, according to the World Health Organization.’

It should come as no surprise, therefore, that there are big differences amongst older people. ‘In general, we see that the period just after retirement is actually the least lonely phase in a person’s life. People are on cloud nine because they suddenly have time for their grandchildren, hobbies, travelling... As they get older, the likelihood of loneliness increases. Older people sooner or later face physical and cognitive decline. They get out less often, which causes their social network to become smaller and smaller. Many also lose their partners. And a lot of them suddenly face an “existential loneliness”: they get the feeling that their role within society is becoming increasingly passive and that they, by extension, no longer serve a purpose.’

Young people are lonely too

 

But not only older people struggle with feelings of loneliness, far from it. ‘Loneliness is about as common amongst 75- to 85-year-olds as it is amongst adolescents and young adults (under 30),’ says Delafontaine. ‘Especially during periods of sudden change, there’s a dramatic increase. Think of the transition from primary to secondary school, or from secondary to tertiary education. Even transitioning from one education cycle to the next can have an effect.’

 

Delafontaine points out that loneliness is experienced differently in different stages of life. ‘For a small child, the physical absence of others is enough to feel lonely. As we get older, we get better at framing that feeling, as illustrated by the hours we spend studying alone at our desks. That’s how we “learn” to be alone.’