The science behind BDSM: From sadomasochism to 'Babygirl'
In short
- BDSM stands for bondage, discipline, domination and submission, and sadomasochism. Partners create an intense physical and mental experience together, within a safe framework.
- At UAntwerp, the biological effects of BDSM interactions are being studied, as well as the factors that influence interest in BDSM.
- Hollywood films often reinforce prejudices through the way they depict BDSM and sexuality.
- Ghent University has one of the only recognised BDSM student clubs in the world.
What do you think of when you hear the term BDSM? Whips and pain, like in Fifty Shades of Grey? A game of power, as in the recent film Babygirl? The way BDSM is portrayed in popular media fuels our perceptions. But just how accurate is that image? Several UAntwerp researchers provide nuance based on medical insights and film criticism. Two students from the BDSM community also share their perspective.
'Stress and fun can go hand in hand'
What do people get out of BDSM? What determines who’s attracted to it? And isn’t seeking pain unnatural? These are the studied by Manuel Morrens, professor of Psychiatry at UAntwerp (Faculty of Medicine and Health Sciences).
The acronym BDSM stands for bondage, discipline, domination and submission, and sadomasochism. A term that refers to specific practices, but not to the essence. Morrens articulates the latter as follows: ‘BDSM is a form of intimacy or sexuality involving power, control and sometimes pain, within pre-agreed boundaries. It is about trust, consent and creating an intense physical and mental experience between partners. For them, it’s a deeply emotional or sensual way to connect.’
BDSM is about trust, consent and creating an intense physical and mental experience between partners.
He explains why BDSM is so highly stigmatised: ‘It deviates from the so-called norm for relationships and sex. But more than anything, there are a lot of misconceptions. People are quick to think of extreme practices, reinforced by caricatures in the media. Dungeons, chains and the like. In reality, lighter versions are much more common – such as blindfolds or handcuffs, which a lot of Flemish people sometimes fantasise about or experiment with.’ There is also a false perception of the dynamics between BDSM partners. ‘A typical interaction takes place between a dominant and a submissive partner. People often assume that submissive partners are forced to do things they don’t really like, while they’re actually the ones who set the boundaries! That agreement framework is rarely shown in popular culture.’
Spike in stress and pleasure hormones
Morrens studied the blood levels of couples before and after BDSM interactions. ‘Especially in the submissive partners, we saw a spike in stress and pleasure hormones. That’s what BDSM is about: you experience something stressful together, but within a safe framework, which can also generate pleasure. Compare it to watching a horror movie or being on a rollercoaster. It’s scary, but you know you’re never really in danger. For some couples, such a shared experience creates a deep connection.’
What determines whether someone engages in BDSM or not? ‘Some people go along with their partners’ interest,’ Morrens explains, ‘or they want to try something exciting.’ For those who are more intrinsically drawn to it, factors from childhood often play a role. ‘Were your parents equal partners or was one clearly the leader? Their power dynamics create a kind of imprint of how relationships should be, which can then influence your own relationships and sexuality. Parenting style also seems to be significant. Those practicing BDSM were more often raised in a strict, not so warm manner.’ Freud’s theory, on the other hand, has been proven wrong: ‘He called sadomasochism an expression of unprocessed childhood trauma. Recent research disproves that.’
Is seeking pain unnatural?
In a lot of BDSM interactions, pain plays a role. Isn’t that unnatural? Morrens provides nuance: ‘You naturally stay away from pain stimuli to protect your body. That’s the whole point of pain. But pain also provokes endorphins and can create a rush. That’s usually the goal in BDSM. Then there are the thrill seekers. They want to do something that their body resists, but in a safe environment. An example of this would be bungee jumping off a bridge for the thrill, knowing that a safety line protects you. In BDSM, mutual trust is that line. And, finally, there are people who feel more connected when they’ve experienced a low together. For them, the point isn’t the pain as such either.’ Morrens concludes that exercising caution is always appropriate, but that the BDSM community is caring and responsible. ‘They watch over their own and each other’s safety,’ he says.
"BDSM in films is not always nuanced"
In Babygirl, a female CEO begins an affair with her intern. Power play takes centre stage. The film is controversial, as it raises the question of whether a woman in a position of power submitting sexually to a man is feminist or not. Bo Alfaro Decreton (Faculty of Social Sciences) talks about representation in this recent film and in film history.
BDSM and sexuality depicted
‘Sexuality has captured the imagination since the beginning of film history,’ says Alfaro Decreton, graduate teaching & research assistant in film studies and visual culture. ‘Starting in the 1960s, we see BDSM popping up in European cinema in particular. It’s usually portrayed as a pathological form of sexuality: the dominant partner is a perverse sadist, and the submissive one the victim. Such depictions reinforce the taboo.’
Does that also apply to more recent films? ‘A film like Babygirl isn’t groundbreaking, but it does help open the door to more inclusive representation. The characters make agreements, for example, on a code word to stop. The focus in their BDSM interactions is not on pain but on a game of power, which is depicted less stereotypically. The characters are also still quite new to the whole thing.’ This film also shows that Hollywood is evolving in the way female sexuality is depicted. ‘That’s perhaps the most innovative thing. Babygirl explores the desires of a woman over 50, from her own perspective. The film doesn’t lapse into the time-honoured cliché of the femme fatale, or – conversely – some kind of virginal, pure character. It’s more nuanced than that.’
Finally, she stresses that there are also some older films that paint a more nuanced picture. ‘Back in the 1960s, you had Belle de jour by Buñuel or La Prisonnière by Clouzot. Those films, too, take female desire as their point of departure – though the male gaze remains present. And the roles between partners aren’t strictly defined: the boundaries of fantasy are being toyed with.’
Social debate surrounding Babygirl
Alfaro Decreton gets that films like Babygirl are controversial. ‘In Hollywood, the portrayal of female sexuality is still not layered enough. When a film seeks to change that, it immediately attracts attention.’ On the importance of representation in cinema, she says the following: ‘To portray something is to make something visible. That can have a social impact. In an ideal world, there’s a multitude of representations that can coexist. But BDSM as experienced by the community itself is rarely shown. On the rare occasion it does make it to the big screen, people value a realistic and positive portrayal.’
She does warn against reducing art to a stepping stone for social debate. ‘The resulting conversations are often relevant and necessary. At the same time, we do directors no favours by reducing their work to a question about feminism, for example. Cinema works on different levels – we shouldn’t lose sight of that. It’s precisely what makes it so powerful!’
Student club creates safe environment for BDSM
Student association Kajira, affiliated to Ghent University, is intended for young people interested in BDSM. Two board members explain the association’s approach and activities and counter persistent misconceptions.
A safe environment for BDSM
Kajira wants to do away with taboos and correctly inform young people about BDSM. Even those without experience are welcome. Vice-president Lara* explains exactly what the association does: ‘BDSM isn’t an easy world to get into. And things can actually go wrong. With us, you learn to experience BDSM as safely as possible. We organise workshops on bondage techniques, for example. Nothing indecent, mind you: knots are demonstrated on our hands. We also give first aid courses. Knowing when you need care (and what kind) is important. And we exchange experiences, such as on how to tell a doctor you’re doing BDSM.’ And for those wondering, no, Kajira doesn’t put theory into practice. ‘We’re the most well-behaved student club of all,’ laughs President Sofie*. ‘We don’t have hazing, and things never get more physical than during one of those knot tying workshops.’
This was important to Ghent University. Sofie explains how the university recognised them as an official student club: ‘We were given strict conditions, such as a ban on practising. But I’m happy to say the university supports our existence. That’s not a matter of course – only in America is there a similar recognised student club. There should definitely be more of them. Everyone deserves a place where they feel accepted and safe.’
Everyone deserves a place where they feel accepted and safe.
Confidence and freedom
There are few taboos within Kajira, but things are more difficult when it comes to the outside world. The two board members therefore prefer to remain anonymous in this interview, and a lot of students keep their Kajira membership private. This has a lot to do with that incorrect image reinforced in popular media, says Sofie: ‘Films like Fifty Shades of Grey typically show extreme variants of BDSM, with a lot of violence and pain. But there are also mild forms, like blindfolding each other.’ Lara thinks it’s a pity that the focus is rarely on consent, or on the bond of trust that’s so crucial: ‘Filmmakers seem to find that boring. Why? It’s so important in BDSM!’
Freedom is also a crucial factor. Many of Kajira’s members don’t tick traditional boxes, for instance because they’re polyamorous. ‘Freeing yourself from expectations and norms is important in BDSM,’ Sofie says in closing. ‘Go in search of what feels right for you!’
*Sofie and Lara are pseudonyms.